Cinebitch
Movie Marriages

Ms. Cinebitch,
I have been obsessed with the current public perception of marriage lately. It seems to me that the idea of marriage has become more conservative with certain segments of the population calling marriage a union between only a man and a woman, while others argue for gay marriage. Personally, I think the entire idea of marriage is ridiculous for anyone. Can you tell me if you think the perception of marriage in film has made this same transformation?
Thank you,
Living single in A2


Well, well, well, took a big swig of bitter juice this morning, didn’t we? I suggest you bring my bottle back immediately or sooner. Without it, I start to enjoy other people’s company, which invariably leads to something bad.


As a woman, and a bitch, I am sick and tired of the way marriage is portrayed in movies. I am disgusted at the importance sexual attractiveness plays in the “Hollywood marriage model” as well. Hollywood loves marriage because it sells movies, both in the actual films and beyond to celebrity images. Look at the crazy Tom Cruise and his pointy-toothed girlfriend, Katie Holmes. This insane coupling has led to a number of juicy publicity opportunities which probably leave the heads of studios spinning with excitement. Would these same studio heads be as happy if crazy Tom Cruise finally admitted out loud that he is gay and introduced us to the boyfriend he probably keeps tied up under his bed? That’s right. Bring on the lawsuit, crazy Tom! Bring it!

I have no idea why the gays keep barking about wanting the right to be married. Gay men, what the hell is wrong with you people? Oh I know one of your arguments . . . the tax break. Well, you know what? Shut up. Gay men are a household with two “man incomes,” you don’t need the tax break.
Lesbians? They need the tax break. They have two “woman incomes.” So tax break, smax break. I want to fight for the lesbians. There should be a special lesbian tax break.

Cinebitch digresses. I believe Hollywood loves marriage, good, bad, gay, straight, and all things in between. Why? Well, it sure as hell isn’t because the studio heads think love is important. No, it’s cashmoney. That is what drives them. So be careful about which movies you spend your money on, because that is how you send messages to Hollywood.

However, what is important for all thinking people to remember is that the Hollywood image of marriage and relationships is not a good one. If we accepted the Hollywood definition of healthy relationships we would all think couples like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have something real. In reality what they have is a relationship of control: Tom is controlling a woman much younger than himself. It is a sickness which is running through Hollywood, and as a result seems normal to much of the younger movie generation. Look, I sound like someone’s grandma! What about the kids???!!

Do I think the idea of marriage in film has changed? In some ways, yes and in other ways no. Films reflect the culture in which they are made, therefore they often change with the political tide. However, I would like filmmakers and studios to take more responsibility for what their films say about marriage and relationships in general.

I would be much happier with Hollywood if they made movies about real love in all its glory and ugliness. Love is universally something we are all looking for whether we admit it out loud or not. Mbien?

Love?
Laurita

Email cinebitch@annarborpaper.com

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