Sexophile
Manual Stimulation
by Dejah T. Rubel

Dear Dejah,
I was wondering, if you had to recommend a few sex books for beginners, what would be some good titles? My boyfriend and I would like to learn some new positions and some ways of getting me off. Thanks, Chrissy.

Well, Chrissy, I can recommend two practical sex manuals for beginners. The first one I used heavily right after I lost my virginity because it both covers the basics and alludes to further possibilities. The second one focuses more on orgasm and masturbation techniques instead of investigating several sexual topics.

KISS Guide to SEX
Ann Hooper
DK Publishing, Inc
Paperback, 400 pages. $20

The guide is a large encyclopedic work that starts with simple chapters discussing your feelings towards sex, how to talk about your needs with your partner, and the uses of sensual touch. It then progresses through topics like massage, fantasy play, and romance. Then, the real instruction begins.
Using pictures of an idealized couple, the guide covers oral sex for both genders and a series of positions for chairs, beds, and flat surfaces, among others, more of which are included in the section on Tantra. Anal sex is also discussed, with more positions, and reminders of how to have safer sex are included throughout. Resource links are also sprinkled within the text if you want further information on a certain topic, such as sex toys.

As for pushing the limits, KISS merely alludes to them. Towards the end, it mentions lifestyles and fetishes, but doesn’t explore them in detail. It does encourage readers to explore, but mostly this guide covers the basics. It does these basics very well, though. The pictures are realistic and easy to understand and the text easily engages the reader. Most of the resource links are still current to the book’s recent publication. The book itself is color-coded on the leaves, so you can find the cheat sheet of positions quickly.
In fact, the only thing I can discount against the guide is that the version I had was paperback. It held up rather well for about six months until the binding started to wear out. I might have been using it too often, though, so don’t assume it will happen to you. I will credit this book with several warm memories of my ex and I staring at the diagrams of our reproductive systems.

The Big O: Orgasms: How to Have Them, Give Them and Keep Them Coming
Lou Paget
Broadway
Hardcover, 272 pages. $20

I picked up The Big O one day in Bargain Books on Stimson because I wandered down there while fighting with the ex I mentioned above. I was having a hard time learning how to get off, a chronic problem for us girls, so I took it home wondering if it could help. As it’s the only practical sex manual I still keep, I assure you IT DOES.
As the book focuses on orgasm, it downplays the other elements to sex. The chapters prior to female orgasm discuss the myths of orgasm, sexual cycles and their peeks, and the mental side to orgasm. They also outline the cycle of orgasmic response in men and women through well executed line drawings that illustrate the entire book.
After Paget lays this foundation, he begins the two major sections of the book: female and male orgasm. Each is covered in detail with specific techniques for masturbation, oral, vaginal, and anal stimulation. The chapter on female orgasm covers the ten types of female orgasm including clitoral, vaginal, G-spot, and U-spot, most of which are accompanied with line drawings of useful positions. The women’s section also includes a short section on masturbation with several suggestions on varying techniques so you can learn about your body in order to teach others.

The chapter on male orgasm discusses the seven types of sexual stimulation that can result in orgasm for a man. Similar to the chapter on female orgasm, these different orgasms are broken down separately with drawings of positions advantageous to each, but each section is much shorter. The men’s section does include several good techniques for manual stimulation and oral sex, and I can partly attribute my awesome blowjob performance to these. There is another section on male masturbation as well, but it’s very basic.
After these detailed positions and discussions, Paget closes with three more chapters on medical issues, sex toys, and Tantric sex. The chapter on medical issues ranges from premature ejaculation and the effects of menopause to a great guide to STDs with full symptom listings (partly why I keep the book). The section on sex toys covers the very basics such as what material to look for when buying a dildo and what style of vibrator you might want to try. As for the Tantric sex, it does explain how to get into the spirit of the practice, but you might just use it for the new positions it gives you.

The only downside I can see to The Big O is that it can be a bit of a read. He doesn’t have as many drawings or sidenotes as KISS does, but his text is accessible. Although he does discuss the scientific principles behind good lovemaking, he brings it to the reader in an easy manner. I think you’ll enjoy this book, Chrissy, and find many ways of getting off. A2P

Send questions to sexophile@annarborpaper.com.

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