ARIES
March 21 - April 19
You have a friend who really needs a hug, and with your help and
encouragement they should be able to make it through a dreadfully
thorny patch in their life. Be there for them and hold their hand—you
know that they would do the same for you.
TAURUS
April 20 - May 20
Your time off has been well spent and you are seeing things in a
new light. You can avoid old habits by limiting your exposure to
those who still have them. Find more productive endeavors to eliminate
boredom.
GEMINI
May 21 - June 21
You are fortunate to have good friends, a loving family and a fruitful
career. Don’t ever take these blessings for granted. Few people
are as lucky as you, so live and love your life.
CANCER
June 22 - July 22
Don’t just settle for vanilla; try chocolate, hazelnut, butter
pecan and mocha. Clean your spoon between double dips to avoid bumps
and cold headaches. If you’re lucky, maybe you can stack your
flavors on top of each other and give them multiple licks. Experts
should try triple chocolate overloads.
LEO
July 23 - August 22
You have been hurt by the game of love in the past, but it doesn’t
mean it is going to happen every time. Someone is trying to show
an honest interest in you—let them into your life. Don’t
neglect your future because of what happened before.
VIRGO
August 23 - September 22
People are interested in what you have to say, so speak out. We’re
all very curious to hear the masterpiece you have been creating
inside your head. Don’t be shy, our ears are eager to listen.
LIBRA
September 23 - October 23
Your career has been zooming full-speed ahead, but recently a roadblock
was set in front of you and you’re trying to figure out the
best route around it. Don’t take a long detour. Try to get
on the fast track to stay on course.
SCORPIO October 24 - November 21
Ever notice that when you pay with a big bill at a store the clerk
checks it to make sure it is not counterfeit? From now on when you
receive a bill from a clerk you should check it to make sure it’s
not counterfeit.
SAGITTARIUS
November 22 - December 21
Everyone does things at home that some people find morally wrong,
like masturbating for instance. As long as you don’t do these
things at work or in parks you are a normal, healthy human being.
CAPRICORN
December 22 - January 19
You’ll find yourself becoming increasingly annoyed by your
coworkers this month. Your salary may be the only thing holding
you back from blasting your workmates in the nose. Try to resist
the urge for violence. You’ll be more ticked off if you get
fired.
AQUARIUS
January 20 - February 18
You always block the first punch, you grin in the midst of a beating
and you never give in. You’re about to enter the biggest fight
of your life—use your innate fighting skills to bob and weave
your way out of it.
PISCES
February 19 - March 20
To avoid drama and heartache, make your intentions clear from the
beginning. If you are unhappy with your situation say that you are
from the start, don’t wait until it’s too late. Waiting
will only cause uncomfortable emotional situations.
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