| Guilty
pleasures? |
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Whoever coined the phrase “guilty pleasure” is a pretentious fucking snob. Well, maybe not... I suppose I could see how it might apply to, say, heavy-duty sadomasochism, cannibalism, and stuff like that. However, if this little gift to the popular lexicon was intended to explain why one would, for instance, enjoy the movie XXX, then it’s a big load. Why should someone feel guilty about what they like? Is it because it’s not “cool” or “smart”? If you’re really that self-conscious about coming off as cool and smart, you are probably neither of these things (of course, it’s probably not that cool and smart to be taking philosophical advice from a bush-league music critic, but I digress). Everyone really should just chill out and like what they like. Damn the torpedoes, y’know? Of course, for all my preaching, I admit that I remain far from perfect in this regard. We as a society (and certainly the citizens of Ann Arbor in particular) are steeped in hip irony, and seething with contempt for anything uncool, which can make it pretty tough to just like what you like without being the subject of derision. The first step, then, to getting away from the concept of guilty pleasures would be to get past worrying about being embarrassed and derided, and just let it all hang out. To that end, the following is a list of songs and/or performers that I openly admit to liking without any irony, regardless of what all y’all haters might make of it. 1) Rage Against The Machine “Bulls on Parade” (from Evil Empire). Now, for many people it might not be construed as uncool to like a Rage Against The Machine song, and in some cases it may be seen as pretty damn cool. However, most of my friends are college radio DJs, and in that particular group, Rage Against The Machine is a very cheesy thing to like. I’ve liked this song for a long time, though, ever since they played it on Saturday Night Live and got banned for trying to display an inverted American flag onstage (okay, that’s pretty cheesy, I admit), and I don’t intend to stop now. 2) The Four Seasons Yes, Frankie Valli’s voice can be a bit (okay, VERY) grating at times, but the Four Seasons were a great pop group regardless. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably heard “Sherry” and “Big Girls Don’t Cry” roughly 3.2 trillion times, but listen closer next time. These guys were not a thing to fuck with. 3) Tommy James & The Shondells Though T.J. and crew had a string of amazing hit singles in the ‘60s, from the bubblegum perfection of “I Think We’re Alone Now” to the epic pop psychedelia of “Crimson and Clover”, history thus far has painted their music as being resolutely uncool, especially given that they were operating in a time frame shared by much hipper artists like Jimi Hendrix, the Rolling Stones, the Velvet Underground, the Beach Boys, and so on. Frankly, I like “I Think We’re Alone Now” better than anything in the entire catalog of the artists I just listed, and I like all of those artists (well, I’m kinda up and down about the Velvets, but that’s another story for another day). 4) Rick James I was down with Rick James long before Chappelle’s Show brought him back into vogue. He sounds almost exactly as coked out as he looks, and I have to tell you, it is some seriously sweet shit (I’m practicing for alliteration-a-thon 2004... wish me luck!). If you ever get a chance to hear the 10+ minute version of “Love Gun,” do yourself a favor and check it out. 5) Kelis “Milkshake” (from Tasty). Man, this song kicks crazy ass over every last song on the newest Shins record combined, and I know this from experience, as I’ve listened to that Shins record at my day job almost every day since it came out. The album that “Milkshake” is culled from, Tasty, is pretty good overalll, although only the Andre 3000-produced “Millionaire” lives up the promise suggested by its big hit. 6) Sir Mix-A-Lot “Baby Got Back” (from Mack Daddy). If you don’t like this song, you are lame. If you like this song as a joke, you are still lame. However, if even you, as a white boy, have got to shout, “BABY GOT BACK!”, then we’re on the same level. Speaking of getting on one’s level, I guess that brings us to... 7) Lil Jon, Lil Scrappy, Trillville, etc. YEAH! YEAH! WHAT?! WHAT?! OKAAAAY!!!! It gets awfully repetitive after awhile, but crunk-ass club rap played way too loud is just as oppressive as some New York City art-noise record, and a lot more fun to dance to. 8) Neil Diamond At his best, Neil Diamond was an amazing songwriter. Period. He came up with some of the most memorable melodies ever committed to magnetic tape. Not to say that he’s above being mocked... hardly. A particular instance that is ripe for ridicule: there is a live recording available on CD from the late 1980s, in which Diamond performs his song “Red Red Wine.” This song, you’ll remember, was very popular on the radio around this time, albeit in the form of a “reggae” cover by the band UB40. Diamond, ever ready to get hip with the times, tries to do the song reggae-style himself, seeing as the reggae version is making him a hell of a lot more in royalties than the original ever did. Since Diamond is a good sport, he even includes a break in which he attempts to do some “toasting” for the crowd (for those unfamiliar with the lingo, toasting is that middle ground between singing and rapping commonly heard in ‘80s reggae and crappy Sublime songs), resulting in what could quite possibly be the most embarrassing thing ever recorded. Still, when the man was on, he was dead on. If anyone has a copy of his Velvet Gloves & Spit album on vinyl that they’d like to sell me, please e-mail me at shuttlebuszine@hotmail.com. 9) Roger Miller ‘60s novelty country never sounded so good. You all know “King of the Road,” but that’s just the tip of the iceberg... the man was stuffed to the gills with fun, goofy songs. Doomed to never get his props in the alt-country circle, who are much too serious and pure for such things, Roger Miller will forever be without a home outside of the world’s thrift stores, flea markets, and my house, where he is always invited to sing “Engine Engine #9”. 10) Kenny Rogers Okay, okay. Unlike everything else on this list, which I am fond of without irony or qualification, I must admit that my fondness for Kenny Rogers is maybe, just maybe, a little bit of a joke. That said, I grew up around Kenny Rogers’s music, and as such, I do find his slick, fake-ass pop country to be oddly comforting. Also, a friend of mine and I used to drive around my hometown playing the song “Lady” at extremely high volumes and screaming along, which may well explain why we didn’t have very many other friends in those days. HONORABLE
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